i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
