we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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