What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
