Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize