KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
