By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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