Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
