We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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