I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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