he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize