I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
