Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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