no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
