she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
