Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Buhtt sex?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Randomize
