I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
