i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize