I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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