I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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