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I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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