handjob tips. give me some.
We got so high we made milksteak
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
