Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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