i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
