I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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