Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
