I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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