Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
