i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it glows. i had to have it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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