Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
