my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you traded sex for a burrito?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
