Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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