I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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