Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
