new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize