I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
third nipple confirmed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
