Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
