she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize