So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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