Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
