drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
