my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
