I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my poor anus
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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