you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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