You're so nebulous sometimes
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
