she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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