can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
