this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
