So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
