i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
