I wish I could punch you in the face.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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