no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
