ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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