Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
