he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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