office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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