so explain again why im purple
no
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
