but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize