Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
