i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize