There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
